Self-examination

To study English, I get up at five o'clock every morning. I spend nearly six hours on my English studies, and on top of that, I still have to work for over ten hours. Yet, I constantly feel there isn't enough time.   

I am a 35-year-old office worker. Time has given me years, but not mastery. The world still demands hope from me, yet I feel I have so little left to give. The gap between what is needed and what I can offer fills me with regret and self-reproach.

When I was younger, many trivial questions used to trouble me,wasting a lot of precious time.

Would my boyfriend (whom I later married) love me forever?

Did my colleagues like me?

Was I slim enough?

When would I become wealthy?

I spent so much time thinking about these things instead of taking concrete action for my future.

It wasn't until I had my baby that I truly realized how misguided I had been. I love him more than anything. I want to give him everything I have. That's why I began working and studying so hard, even though it is incredibly difficult. When I look at my little boy's sweet face, I know every sacrifice is worth it.