瑞典爸爸令人破防的短视频

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“我发现中国的父母，不太管孩子的[心理的问题]。他们可能管比较多是洗手、穿多衣服，不要冻到了，嗯，但是比如说，我的女儿，最近有一点害怕，什么事情不太高兴，然后，我问她，为什么呢？她不告诉我。所以我去问一个中国的朋友，我那个朋友告诉我，他说，现在的孩子，一点都不能吃苦，我们呢？小时候那么苦，小的问题，有什么大的问题。她那么小，肯定有问题是很小的问题，这个时候，我发现，很多中国的家长，可能认为他的童年很苦，可能是因为没有钱，还是太辛苦，所以，他们觉得现在的孩子，有钱有房子，怎么可能会不高兴。但是，我觉得不对，养孩子不是有钱就可以，孩子也需要我们陪她们玩，所以可能现在的问题，不是钱的问题，大的问题是，没有家长有时间，太忙了，如果不忙，那可能要看电脑，看手机，看电视，所以，孩子有点孤独，没人陪她。所以，我想带女儿去去瑞典。暑假的时候，让她快乐一点点，多陪她一点点，后来，我觉得，她肯定会告诉我，有什么情况。”——摘录自三农博主“瑞典奶爸在大理”短视频

一个视频就能让很多国人搞破防，因为“忠孝节义”的传统糟粕，在这些人的脑海里根深蒂固啊！这样的想法也很正常，弹幕有一句破防话很有意思，他说“说明你找的牧羊犬经常说中国坏话”，在这个人头脑中。要么说中国好话，要么说中国坏话，舍此别无第三种可能。

当然博主这个题目，多少有些棍打一大片，“中国父母不是好家长”，应该在中国前面再加一个限定词。“可能中国父母不是好家长”，或者“大多数中国父母不是好家长”，“一部分中国父母不是好家长”。诸如此类。

我觉得在这个物质大丰富时代，静下心来读读200年前的美国超验主义哲学家梭罗的walden，应该是个不错的选择。在让中国传统糟粕文化破了个大防的同时，也许可以从西方文学经典里，找一些宽慰的种子哦，以下摘录自《瓦尔登湖》第二章“我所住之地与我为何而生”，实际上，一百年后的美国哲学家罗素，也写过一篇What I Have Lived For，感觉像是在致敬他的先辈，两篇英文对照阅读，颇有兴味。

At a certain season of our life we are accustomed to consider every spot as the possible site of a house. I have thus surveyed the country on every side within a dozen miles of where I live. In imagination I have bought all the farms in succession, for all were to be bought, and I knew their price. I walked over each farmer’s premises, tasted his wild apples, discoursed on husbandry with him, took his farm at his price, at any price, mortgaging it to him in my mind; even put a higher price on it,—took everything but a deed of it,—took his word for his deed, for I dearly love to talk,—cultivated it, and him too to some extent, I trust, and withdrew when I had enjoyed it long enough, leaving him to carry it on. This experience entitled me to be regarded as a sort of real-estate broker by my friends. Wherever I sat, there I might live, and the landscape radiated from me accordingly. What is a house but a sedes, a seat?—better if a country seat. I discovered many a site for a house not likelyto be soon improved, which some might have thought too far from the village, but to my eyes the village was too far from it. Well, there I might live, I said; and there I did live, for an hour, a summer and a winter life; saw how I could let the years run off, buffet the winter through, and see the spring come in. The future inhabitants of this region, wherever they may place their houses, may be sure that they have been anticipated. An afternoon sufficed to lay out the land into orchard, wood-lot, and pasture, and to decide what fine oaks or pines should be left to stand before the door, and whence each blasted tree could be seen to the best advantage; and then I let it lie, fallow, perchance, for a man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.

罗素原文如下：

Three passions, simply but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.

有三种质朴而又强烈的情感支配着我一生，这就是对爱情的渴望、对知识的求索和对人类苦难的无限怜悯。这三种激情，有如狂飙挟我四海漂泊，游移不定，直至苦海的深渊，濒临绝望的边缘。

I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness–that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss.

我追求爱情。首先，爱情带来极乐。这种极乐，往往令我愿意牺牲余生，哪怕就只得到数小时的快乐。其次，爱情缓解孤独，那种极致的孤独，让灵魂在穿越世界的边沿，进入冷酷深邃的无边地狱，而瑟瑟发抖。

I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what–at last–I have found.