致子鱼

Dear Ziyu,

You may or may not read this letter some time soon. Until yesterday,I didn't even know you were coming. And I am certainly happy to have you.  

Your Dad and I have been picking your name for a long time. There have been a few that were given up. Ziyu is the final option, which carries my hope for you—I wish for your future nothing but freedom, not happiness, not success, but freedom: 

The freedom to do what you want, not what you are expected;

The freedom to be who you are meant to be, not what the society or culture defines you to be;

The freedom to choose the life you desire, not what social norms picture you to live;

The freedom to express your feelings without fear or embarrassment, whether or not they are encouraged;

The freedom to enjoy yourself without guilt, which does not contradict with the very fact that you are still wanting more for your life.

They always say a child's personality has been long determined by the mother when she's going through pregnancy, which worries me for a long time because I am nothing like the above mentioned, not until this very moment. All my life I've been feeling trapped, trapped by both concrete and unknown forces, which keeps driving me forward in directions I am not exactly sure I even want. No matter where I am, who I am with, I can't get away. 

Hence comes you, an entirely undefined human being. You are my hope, yet I don't expect you to be something utterly unlike or like me. Be the person you feel like being. 

Love,

Mom