How to Speak Up in a Meeting, and When to Hold Back

This blog post features an article Allison Shapira recently wrote for Harvard Business Review. Click here to see the original article on HBR.org.

I recently spent a month interviewing the group heads of a large financial services company in order to understand how their direct reports need to communicate as they move into leadership positions. Again and again, I heard the same comment: “If you are in the room for a meeting, we expect you to speak up. Don’t wait for someone to ask you.”

In many organizations, our leadership readiness is measured in part by our willingness to speak up in meetings. How we speak off the cuff can have a bigger impact on our career trajectory than our presentations or speeches, because every single day we have an opportunity to make an impact.

While much of my work focuses on women in leadership, everyone can use meetings as an opportunity to move up in their careers — and bring others with them.

Here are three strategies for speaking up effectively, followed by three warnings for when you should hold back.

Strategies for Speaking Up Effectively

Prepare a few bullets in advance. One senior executive I worked with was deathly afraid of public speaking early in her career. In order to overcome that fear, she challenged herself to speak up at every single meeting and prepared comments or questions in advance. That executive is now a role model within her organization and is considered one of the most confident and authentic speakers in her industry. Don’t wait for inspiration to hit in the meeting; prepare in advance.

Ask, “why you?” This is a question I recommend people ask before they craft a presentation, walk into a meeting, or even prepare for a networking event. It means, why do you care about what you do, about your organization, or about your role? Answering this question helps you connect with a sense of purpose and builds your confidence. It reminds you that you’re speaking up not to show off but because you truly care about the subject. It reminds you that your credibility doesn’t come solely from your title or years of experience but can also comes from your commitment and passion.

Pause and breathe to build your confidence. Speaking up in a meeting takes courage. You have the ability to affect the trajectory of the conversation, potentially guiding your client towards saying yes to a deal when your colleagues have taken the meeting off track. Pausing and breathing helps center you and strengthens your voice so that when you do speak up, you speak with the full weight of your conviction. While you pause, ask yourself, “If one other person in this room has the same question, am I willing to ask on behalf of that person?” The answer should build your confidence. A client recently shared that she had used this technique to ask a question — in public — at a large conference, and her question changed the direction of the entire panel discussion, shedding light on a critical issue that the panel had been avoiding.

With that being said, sometimes it’s the person who says the least in a meeting who has the most power. Your executive presence comes from being strategic about when you speak up in addition to what you say. Here are three warnings for when you should hold back.

Warnings for When to Hold Back

If you’re only trying to show off. We’ve all had the experience of sitting in a meeting or on a conference call that runs late, where everyone is trying to wrap up, and someone is rambling about a topic the group had already moved on from 30 minutes ago. Right before you speak up, ask yourself why you are speaking. If you are speaking up just to show how much you know, it’s better to let someone else talk or let the meeting run its natural course.

If you are trying to empower others on your team. I had a pivotal moment in graduate school where I received feedback that I spoke up too much in class. Why was that a problem? A classmate said, “You become a crutch for others. We can’t wrestle with the question being asked because you jump in with the answer. Sometimes leadership is about letting others find their own solution.” Ten years later, that comment has stayed with me and has deeply influenced my leadership style. In the meeting, let members of your team speak up in order to build their own relationships of trust with your clients. Giving others an opportunity to speak in a meeting is one of the most powerful ways we can build their leadership skills, raise their visibility — both internally and externally — and give the client a more comprehensive sense of support from your whole team.

If your comment would be better left for a one-on-one conversation. Senior executives consistently offer feedback on their direct reports in my training programs by saying, “They need to learn when to leave something to a one-on-one conversation.” So many difficult conversations within an organization can be mitigated by talking privately to someone — in person whenever possible — rather than addressing the issue in a group where the person will feel defensive. This applies to email as well as spoken conversation. Before speaking up or hitting “reply all,” ask yourself, “Would this be better said privately?”

Speaking up in a meeting is one of the single-most effective ways to raise your visibility and build a relationship of trust with your clients and colleagues. Practice it strategically every single day and you will have a powerful impact on your career and in your business.

Click here to see the original article on HBR.org

我最近花了一個月訪談一間大型金融服務公司的集團高層，以了解他們的直屬部屬在晉升領導職位時該如何溝通。我一次又一次聽到同樣的評論：「如果你來參加會議，我們會希望你主動發言。別等別人開口請你。」 在許多組織中，要衡量我們是否為領導作好準備，有一部分是取決於我們在會議中坦誠直言的意願。即席發言對我們職涯發展軌跡的影響，勝過報告或演說，因為發言讓我們每一天都有創造影響力的機會。 雖然我大多數的研究都是關於女性領導人，但每個人都可以把會議當成在職涯中更上一層樓的機會，同時也可以提攜別人。 

以下是有效發表意見的三項策略，然後是三項你何時該保持沉默的警告。 

有效發言的策略 

事先準備。一位與我合作過的高階主管，職涯早期極度害怕公開發言。為了克服這種恐懼，她為自己設下挑戰，每一次會議都要發言，且事先準備評語或提問。這位高階主管現在已是她組織內的楷模，被視為業界最有自信、最真誠的講者。別在開會時等待靈感出現，而應事先準備。 

自問「你為何？」我會建議人們在製作報告、參加會議，或甚至為人脈交流活動做準備時，問自己這個問題。意思是，你為何會在意自己做的事情，為何在意你的組織，或你的角色？回答這些問題，可協助你喚醒使命感，並建立信心。這會提醒你，你發言並不是為了炫耀，而是真的很重視討論主題。這提醒了你，你的信譽並不完全是來自頭銜或年資，也可以靠你的奉獻與熱情來贏得。 

用停頓與換氣建立自信。在會議中發言需要勇氣。你有能力左右談話的走向，當你的同事讓會議離題時，你有可能引導客戶答應成交。停頓與換氣幫助你集中注意力，讓你的聲音更有份量，如此一來，當你真正開口時，會以最堅定的態度說話。當你停頓時，自問：「如果會議室裡另一人有同樣的問題，我是否願意代表那個人提問？」答案應該可以建立你的自信。一位客戶最近告訴我，她曾在一個大型會議中運用這項技巧公開提問，而她的問題改變了整場座談的討論方向，凸顯了其他與談人一直在迴避的一項關鍵問題。 話雖如此，會議中說話最少的人，有時卻有最大的影響力。你的高階主管氣勢，除了來自你的發言內容，還來自策略性地選擇開口時機。

以下是三項關於你何時該收斂不說話的警訊。 

何時該保持沉默的警告 

如果你只是想炫耀。我們都有這種經驗，參與的會議或電話會議已經快要超時了，每個人都想趕快總結，但某人還在滔滔不絕三十分鐘前你們已經討論完的主題。在你開口前，問問自己為何要發言。如果你只是想展現自己很懂那個主題，那麼最好讓其他人發言，或讓會議順其自然。 

如果想提升你團隊成員的影響力。我在研究所時曾經歷一個轉折時刻，當時有人反應我上課時太常發言。為何這是問題？一位同學說：「你成了別人的依靠。我們不能好好思考被提出的問題，因為你立刻就說出答案了。有時候，領導是讓其他人找出自己的解決方案。」十年後，這個評論我還銘記在心，深深影響了我的領導風格。讓你的團隊成員在會議中開口，讓他們建立自己與客戶的信賴關係。若要培養他們的領導技能、提升他們在內部與外部的能見度，並讓客戶更完整知道你的整個團隊可提供哪些支持，那麼在會議中給你團隊成員發言機會，是最有效的方法之一。 

如果你的發言更適合留到一對一談話。在我的訓練計畫中，高階主管持續提出有關直屬部屬的這類回饋意見：「他們必須學會何時該把某些話留到一對一談話中。」組織內有許多棘手談話，都能藉由私下與某人談話來緩和緊繃氣氛（而且要盡可能當面談），而非在團體場合裡處理，因為這會使那個人採取防衛態度。這適用於電子郵件與言語交談。在開口發言或按下「回覆全部」前，先自問「私下談是否更適合？」 在會議中發言，是提升能見度、與客戶和同事建立信任關係的最有效方法之一。有策略地天天練習，會對你的職涯與公司業務產生重大影響。

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